Last night was the first night of 7:30-5:00 sleep. Ah...so nice. Yet he woke up in a bad mood and that carried him through the morning, being tantrumy and fiesty, to the point I was wrestling with him on the floor to brush his teeth and get him dressed, like a buffalo in heat (me or him, you ask?) In any case, it was not a pretty sight, and I got to where I felt like I just wanted to call in sick..mentally, but I have a big presentation with a partner to do out of town today. Got to plug ahead. I know all of you moms have been through it yourselves, and just keep reminding me, please, because it really helps. You feel so all alone in those wrestling, tantrumy moments that all you feel like wanting to do it have a tantrum of your own (That's okay too, right, sometimes, in the privacy of your own bedroom?)
Ever have those moments where you feel you're not cut out to be a mom? Oh, I would so love to hear everyone tell me they have felt that way. I just have to feel good this morning knowing that I followed through and was consistent with my expectations and consequences. No following directions, no getting to watch your favorite show. No coming to Mom to brush teeth or get dressed? Well, Mom is then coming to you and it won't be fun. You will get more mad and shed more tears. But by golly, Mom has to get to work and can't stop on a weekday to let you debrief about your feelings.
You love your child. At least I love mine. SOOOOO much. And I hate it when he doesn't follow directions, then doesn't understand the consequence (or so it seems), and suddenly not only is it his battle of wills, but mine too. I always heard consequences are just as hard for parents at time because they lose out too. I can kind of get a better understanding of that.
I just have to remember moments like this, where my son is so creative and so enjoys the simple things in life.
I also need to remember this:
I'm being a good parent by having having rules, expectations, and consequences, and I just need to stick to my guns. He will cry and he will get upset, because it is not what he wants, but as a parent it is my responsibility to let him know what expectations there are and how to be a responsible person.
Now, if I can just remember that on those manic Mondays, or Tuesdays, or......
I remember the day after September 11th (I know that's Sept 12th, but it was September 12, 2001... THE Sept 11th)... anyway...
ReplyDeleteThe day after Sept 11, when everything was still up in the air, Michael woke up way too early, my NY family wasn't entirely accounted for, and he was miserable. I remember not having the patience to deal with his mood, and we just sat on my bed together and cried for what seemed like hours.
I remember thinking, "Well, if all you're going to do is cry, then I'm doing it, too."
This is the longest comment ever, but here's a story. My SIL and MIL used to sneak in these passive aggressive jabs towards our parenting. We were too strict for them, we raised our voices too much, we expected too much, etc... Then one day I got a phone call from SIL saying, "I am on vacation with a friend and her daughter and I am watching what happens when you don't set rules and expectations. I am SO SORRY for what I have said to you in the past 7 years."
My MIL? Well, that's a different story... :)